Learning unlocks all doors
Newsletter Issue 22 : Feb 1, 2009- Feb 28, 2009
Empower Yourself Through Every Setback
By: Tamara Vaughn
Everyone faces challenges in business and in life. And even positive experiences
such as getting a promotion or finding Mr. or Ms. Right can present you with
challenges. For example, a new position brings new responsibilities and
sometimes new headaches, and a new love interest poses the challenge of having
to compromise with another person when you’re 
used
to doing things your way.
The key to overcoming any challenge is to empower yourself through the event. In
fact, life’s challenges and adversities can be one of the most inspiring,
creative, and resourceful periods of your life, if you only take the steps to
focus on the positive and not the negative.
Unfortunately, most people have a pre-programmed, download of emotions that
dictates how they react to challenges, changes, and transitions. And the
majority of times these emotions are not positive. Rather, they are based on
resistance and fear, and they put people in the position of reacting and not
being able to turn around and direct the situation. For example, let’s suppose
you just got fired from your job unexpectedly. You honestly thought you were
doing good work, you actually liked your job, and you had planned to stay there
for a long time. Then one day your boss taps you on the shoulder and shows you
the door. The natural emotions you probably feel are fear, sadness, and anger.
“How am I going to pay the bills?” you lament. “What will happen to me and my
family?” “How could they do this to me?” While these are normal initial
emotions, you have to realize that you getting fired from your job could be a
blessing in disguise; because there is always something better out there for
you…you just have to look for it.
The following tips will helps you gain the confidence to face life’s challenges
head on and turn them around into opportunities for growth.
1. Accept that challenges are a learning tool.
Challenges educate you about yourself. They define your values and clarify
what’s important to you. During any challenge is the perfect time to re-create
your life, because challenges force you out of your comfort zone. When people
get into a comfort zone, they don’t like to mix it up. Most people will stay in
their comfort zone because although there’s not a lot of pleasure, there’s not a
lot of pain either. But when you get uncomfortable, you find that you have
resources, gifts, and talents that you haven’t even tapped yet. During times of
challenge you have the ideal opportunity to turn the events around and create
the life or professional situation you truly want to live.
2. Be mindful of your self-talk.
When
overcoming your pre-programmed, download of emotions and re-creating yourself,
you need to watch how you speak to yourself. For example, if you got fired from
your job, you may hear yourself saying, “I’m a lousy employee.” “No one will
ever want to hire me.” “I have no marketable skills.” Such negative self-talk
will only keep you in a negative state and will cause you to sabotage your own
efforts. Therefore, focus on building yourself up through affirmations. Some
good examples of affirmations for our job loss example are: “I am a committed,
dedicated employee.” “I have an excellent employer with benefits.” “I am a
knowledgeable person with a great deal of experience in my field.” “I am honest
and have integrity and maintain that in the workplace.” Make sure your
affirmations focus on the skills or traits that will help you overcome your
current challenge. Write your affirmations down on 3x5 cards and keep them with
you at all times. Say them first thing in the morning and before you go to bed
at night. Also, anytime during the day when a negative thought enters your mind,
start saying your affirmations. Soon you will believe your new self-talk and
you’ll have confidence in yourself again.
3. Visualize where you want to be or what you want in life.
The human brain does not know the difference between that which is real and
that which is imagined. So visualize the perfect scenario for yourself. Since we
tend to draw to us things that we think about, you can start to re-create your
life by simply visualizing what you want. As an added benefit, visualization
also helps you define your values and beliefs. When you visualize the new job
position you want, for example, you can create a picture of the type of company
you want to work for and get a better idea of what’s important to you. Now, if
an opportunity arises that puts you in a place that’s opposite of what you
visualize, you can better decide whether it’s a right move for you.
4. Surround yourself with a supportive environment.
Face it, some people in your life are toxic to your success: people who are
negative, who frustrate you, who sabotage your efforts, and who try to hold you
back. You need to distance yourself from these people, even if it means hurting
their feelings or damaging the relationship permanently. If the toxic person is
a close family member, this step can be difficult, but it will free you to
experience positive things in life. After all, when you’re trying to come back
from a challenge, the only resource you have is your mind. Therefore, you have
to protect your thoughts and your speech, and you do that by getting rid of
people who are negative and toxic. Remember that some people love to complain
and want company for their misery. And as much as they seem to love you, they
will sabotage you because your success intimidates them. It’s easier for them to
keep you down on their level. But this is your life and you have to live it for
yourself, not anyone else. So focus on the positive people in your life and
ignore the negative ones. Once you do, you’ll see a marked improvement in your
current situation.
5. Open yourself up to new possibilities and paths.
Remember,
a challenge can be one of the most creative times in your life. Therefore, give
yourself permission to think beyond the obvious. After a job loss, for example,
you might think to start your own business or to do something you’ve been
putting off for years. Look beyond what you’re accustomed to and let yourself
dream for once. As you do so, just ponder the new experiences and realize that
you don’t have to act on the first thing you think of. Use your positive
support network as a
sounding board for ideas. You may just stumble upon a new life path that leads
to greater fulfilment and success
than ever before.
Shift Your Situation Today
The bottom line is that challenges don’t have to make your miserable. When your
confidence has been shaken due to a sudden turn of events, following these five
tips will help you make it through the rough time and maintain your confidence.
After all, you can’t go from surviving to thriving if you’re stuck wallowing in
self-pity. So put these five tips to work today. When you do, you’re bound to
have a more enjoyable tomorrow…no matter what the situation.